Gossip girl!

Dearest Bubba,

So i have just started watching gossip girl after aunty Kip lent me her dvds. Its actually addictive like 3 episodes a day!
But i guess it has taken away the addiction of chocolate, ice cream, fast food and everything else that is so not good for me.
I have started slimming world and its not going to badly so far, i haven't weighed my self so far but it seems that although i eat loads of crap i haven't put any weight on.

So i continue my way into the land of skinny. . . Maybe! 1 ryvita at a time! 

Until then,
All my love,
          always and forever,
                                  mummy x x

Tears and Tantrums

Dearest Bubba

Today is day 10 of the dukan diet. Hand over my heart i have followed the plan religiously, which includes the salivating continuously whilst everyone else eats chocolate, crisps, bread, butter, chips even fruit and vegetables!! Never thought i would say that. And the result .... 245Ilbs. Yep that's right more than i was when i went to the doctor and no difference at all in this past week. Poly cystic ovaries 1 - Dukan Diet - 0.
My thoughts... What a waste of my bloody time and over exercisement (i know its not a real word) of me will power, self control and stress levels. Poor daddy has had to deal with my chocolate withdrawal tantrums and now my tears of disbelief that i have not shredded a single pound. If i ever doubted daddy's compassion and suitability to be the man in my life i take it all back. He has been so supportive and great this week!

How am i making myself feel better - yes you are right and i know i shouldn't but i am having a splurge day. Tomorrow i am going food shopping with daddy and we are going to try a new diet together with slimming world. A friend of mine went for 6 months and said she will be happy to share all her recipes. This one is based on a balanced diet and not having extreme amounts of protein. I know i only gave it one week, but other people i know that have done this diet and lost weight straight away.

So part of the next plan will also include a stepped up diet routine and it will still mean no crisps or chocolate. Maybe after i have lost weight i will go back to the dukan diet to tone up but right now its not doing me any good. I get tired all the time and frustrated and i don't seem to be the biggest fan of salmon or fish in general.

I will keep you informed and hopefully in a few days there will be more progress. Me and uncle Billy are trying zumba on the wii tonight. I think it means he will watch me fall over and laugh but I'm going to try it anyway.

All my love,
           Always and forever
                                Mummy xxx 

Dukan

Dearest Bubba

Here is the latest information on what i am doing to try and lose some weight. Its not my choice exactly as i didn't really care but the doctor says i have to or we can't have you - so here it goes...

The Dukan Diet

So i am currently on day 4 of my diet and so far i think it is going well. Never heard of the dukan diet? let me explain.

It consists of 4 phases:

 

• 
  Here is the diet information that i mentioned to you both. I will be starting on the 2nd so if you want to do it with me feel free.
  
  its called Dukan diet and is made of 4 phases.
  
  The Attack phase which lasts for 10 days and consists of protein rich foods only. E.g Eggs for breakfast, fish for lunch and chicken breast for dinner. Other items include steak, lean and skinless chicken or turkey, crabbs, mussels, cottage cheese (low fat), prawns.
  Everything must be cooked without fat but yoyu can add spices, lemon, vinegar or soy sauce to flavour.
  2 tablespoons of oat bran each day - 1 1/2 litres of water, tea or coffee a day (skimmed milk, no sugar) herbal tee.
  
  cruise phase:
  add unlimited amounts of non-starch based vegetables, every other day. e.g on your veg day you can eat spinach, mushrooms, vegetable soup and caserole. (no cream of soups) fruit, potatoes, sweetcorn, peas, baked beans are not allowed. this continues until you reach your goal weight.
  
  consolidation phase: gradually reintroduce bread, cereals, fruit, pasta, rice, oils and butter along with alcohol by having small amount evey other day, you must do this for 5 days for every pound you lost during the diet. exampl 14lbs or 1 stone = 50 days.
  
  Ongoing phase: finally you can eat virtualy anything you want in moderation ( no tubs of ice cream or blocks of chocolate) for six days a week, 1 day a week must be protein only.
  
  Pros to this are rapid and permanent weightloss if you stick with it, very simple once you get going.
  
  cons is the attack phase can get boring, can put a strain on kidneys if you have an underlying problem, multivitamins are recommended and oat bran is important to try to avoid constipation. Green tea will also help.
  
  exercise is necessary for 20-30 minutes a day mostly cardio but some strength exercises are needed to ensure muscles don't disappear.
  

So far i got really bored of drinking water so i have added squash, but otherwise i feel i am doing well. my freezer is stocked with chicken, salmon and beef steaks. i am really looking forward to a weeks time when i can add spinach and other veg every other day. The one thing im not doing is exercise, at the moment while im getting used to the diet change i have been really tired, but next week when i am more used to it i intend to really knuckle down with that part. There has been some bowel irregularities but nothing extreme, i think its the dramatic change in diet. I have also bought mouth spray for my breath, as you cant eat mints and the water and squash makes your breath stale!  Otherwise im sleeping well and hoping its a good start. I am currently 6st2lbs and i will update you soon.

All my love,
        Always and forever

                                        Mummy xxx

What a wait!

Dearest Bubba,

I guess the first thing i should do is apologise for the length of time it has taken me to produce this next post!

My new years resolution (or one of them) was to spend more time and effort completing this.

There are quite a few reasons why i gave up, the main one was that i am still not pregnant. It kills me every time to say it out loud or in my head and it seems for the moment that i am going to have to try to put it out of my mind. That's the advice that everyone keeps giving me, but its soooo hard. All i keep thinking about is 'when i get pregnant' and i keep saying to daddy ' when we have a baby' but its just like one of those dreams you want to achieve that you know is never going to happen but you daydream about it all the same.

I saw a gueny - i don't have a clue how to spell it! - and she said i was to fat (at size 14-16) to have a baby. And whilst i understand that being overweight can cause poly cystic ovaries she was in complete fairness an utter bitch! Even grumps (grandad) thought she was unfair with everything she said. in short she mad me feel like i was a teenager who couldn't be bothered to get a job and just have a baby and live of benefits for the rest of my life. I guess it didn't help that i went straight from my job (as assistant manager in a sports store) which meant i was wearing a tracksuit, but i felt she didn't even take a chance to get to know me! so i am going to ring the doctor and ask to see someone a bit more compassionate.

I am also going to take the bull by the horns and try this 'Dukan Diet' that everyone is raving about! I'm day three in and its not going to bad. i have decided that until i do get pregnant and can share the experiences of that i will share with you the experiences of extreme dieting!

Tomorrow will be my first post about the Dukan Diet and the changes it has in my life and side effects that people probably don't tell you about.

Until tomorrow,

All my love
          Always and Forever
                                 Mummy xxx

Results!!

Dearest Bubba,

This past week has been a bit harder than most!

On Wednesday I had my scan like I mentioned in my last post. The radiographer at the time confirmed that I have cysts or follicles on my ovaries. To start with it relieved me a little, as at least now I knew why I hadn't fallen pregnant yet. A bit later when I had to tell Daddy, thats when I started to cry.

Polycystic ovaries doesn't mean that I will never be able to have children, it just means that for most people it can be difficult. I guess I cried because I have finally taken this huge decision to put everything on hold and to focus on you, and now I have to wait. I guess what annoys me even more, is that there are so many parents in the world that dont appreciate the gift of a child and here I am waiting and praying that you will come to me because I have so much love to give.

Me and Daddy are not going to stop trying and we have taken feedback from the doctor about things that might help us. Making sure that we eat healthy and get regular exercise. Your Nana has also said to maybe not think about it so much. There is a saying that 'a watched kettle never boils' and I guess Nana means that all the while I am taking tests and monitoring my cycles, I am never going to fall pregnant.

So we are going to do both! I am going to eat healthy and exercise regularly, but moderately, and I am going to stop 'clock watching'!

Now all I need are distractions to stop me thinking of you all the time. This week should be ok - I have plenty of cinema trips and loads to do at work. Also this weekend I am travelling to Oxford to see my friend from playschool, Jemma and from there I am going to Essex to see my friend Becka, who has a gorgeous girl called Lily.

After that I have no idea what to do!

I really look forward to when you get here! No pressure!

All my love,
       Always and Frever
                     Mummy xxx

Where are you?

Dear Bubba

I have recently been to the doctors as I needed to get their advice about trying to get pregnant. The doctor has advised me that it might be beneficial to get a scan next week as there may be a possibility that I have polycystic ovaries. Im not worried because if I do have polycystic ovaries then I can still get pregnant, it just means that eggs arent released as frequently as other women.

The doctor belives I have a family history of this, which means if Nana can have 6 children then so can I. My only concern is that I will have to wait, when I have just taken this huge decision!! You will soon learn that your Mummy is not patient when it comes to wanting things!!

Since my birthday though I have been a very busy girl!

I have been to the Zoo which was alot of fun and I got alot of pictures. I had a nice meal with my family and as usual I have been to the cinema loads.

On the rare occasion that I am relaxing at home I have been looking at pregnancy tips - this is what I found:

• Regular exercise and a good diet will help conception, though too much or too little exercise can mean its harder to concieve. An ideal is 1/2-1 hour a day, max of 5 hours intense exercise.
• Foods that are high in potassium have a higher chance of producing a boy, eg meat, fish and bananas.
• Foods that are high in magnesium and calcium have a higher chance of producing a boy, eg unsalted cheese, dairy, smoked meats.

Now all we have to do is decide what we want I guess.

As always I cant wait until you get here!

All my love
         Always and forever
                           Mummy xxx

Happy Birthday to me!

Dearest Bubba

I have finally got my laptop fixed - all I had to do was flick a switch to allow the wireless to work lol.

Anyway it was my birthday today - and I didn't think that I would enjoy turning 23 but I really did!

I stayed up until midnight and Billy gave me a handmade card which was lovely. Then I had a nice egg and bacon sandwhich made for me to eat in bed.
When I got up  Aunty Kerry gave me my present from her which was tickets for me and Nana to go and see 'Dreamboats and Petticoats in London, which will be brilliant!

Daddy then took me shopping, where I got lots of stuff bought for me, including books, dvds, cds ad perfumes. I also got a new outfit!

We then went home and played games, Nanny Carol came round and gave me some perfume. Then I went to Nana and Grumps' house. I got two bottles of wine from Blly, socks, sweeties, a photo frame, teddy bear, tigger bowl and cookie cutters from Aunty Kip. Then Nana and Grumps got me a tigger pen and a locket. The locket is really pretty and although Nana thinksit is too small I am going to try and put a picture in it!

So all in all a really good day and a good weekend to come. I am going to the Zoo on Saturday, as well as going to Frankie and Benny's for a meal with all the family!

I promise to take lot of photos over the next few monthsto jeep you updates so juat hang on for me ok?

As always I cant wait for you to get here!

All my love,
           Always and forever,
                               Mummy xxx

All my presents from today - not including my tickets

Close up of Nana and Grumps' locket and bits and bobs from Aunty Kip

Dvds, cds, books and clothes from daddy. (more bits and bobs from aunty Kip)

My sexy boots for my new outfit!