Dearest Bubba,
This past week has been a bit harder than most!
On Wednesday I had my scan like I mentioned in my last post. The radiographer at the time confirmed that I have cysts or follicles on my ovaries. To start with it relieved me a little, as at least now I knew why I hadn't fallen pregnant yet. A bit later when I had to tell Daddy, thats when I started to cry.
Polycystic ovaries doesn't mean that I will never be able to have children, it just means that for most people it can be difficult. I guess I cried because I have finally taken this huge decision to put everything on hold and to focus on you, and now I have to wait. I guess what annoys me even more, is that there are so many parents in the world that dont appreciate the gift of a child and here I am waiting and praying that you will come to me because I have so much love to give.
Me and Daddy are not going to stop trying and we have taken feedback from the doctor about things that might help us. Making sure that we eat healthy and get regular exercise. Your Nana has also said to maybe not think about it so much. There is a saying that 'a watched kettle never boils' and I guess Nana means that all the while I am taking tests and monitoring my cycles, I am never going to fall pregnant.
So we are going to do both! I am going to eat healthy and exercise regularly, but moderately, and I am going to stop 'clock watching'!
Now all I need are distractions to stop me thinking of you all the time. This week should be ok - I have plenty of cinema trips and loads to do at work. Also this weekend I am travelling to Oxford to see my friend from playschool, Jemma and from there I am going to Essex to see my friend Becka, who has a gorgeous girl called Lily.
After that I have no idea what to do!
I really look forward to when you get here! No pressure!
All my love,
Always and Frever
Mummy xxx
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
Saturday, 17 September 2011
Where are you?
Dear Bubba
I have recently been to the doctors as I needed to get their advice about trying to get pregnant. The doctor has advised me that it might be beneficial to get a scan next week as there may be a possibility that I have polycystic ovaries. Im not worried because if I do have polycystic ovaries then I can still get pregnant, it just means that eggs arent released as frequently as other women.
The doctor belives I have a family history of this, which means if Nana can have 6 children then so can I. My only concern is that I will have to wait, when I have just taken this huge decision!! You will soon learn that your Mummy is not patient when it comes to wanting things!!
Since my birthday though I have been a very busy girl!
I have been to the Zoo which was alot of fun and I got alot of pictures. I had a nice meal with my family and as usual I have been to the cinema loads.
On the rare occasion that I am relaxing at home I have been looking at pregnancy tips - this is what I found:
As always I cant wait until you get here!
All my love
Always and forever
Mummy xxx
I have recently been to the doctors as I needed to get their advice about trying to get pregnant. The doctor has advised me that it might be beneficial to get a scan next week as there may be a possibility that I have polycystic ovaries. Im not worried because if I do have polycystic ovaries then I can still get pregnant, it just means that eggs arent released as frequently as other women.
The doctor belives I have a family history of this, which means if Nana can have 6 children then so can I. My only concern is that I will have to wait, when I have just taken this huge decision!! You will soon learn that your Mummy is not patient when it comes to wanting things!!
Since my birthday though I have been a very busy girl!
I have been to the Zoo which was alot of fun and I got alot of pictures. I had a nice meal with my family and as usual I have been to the cinema loads.
On the rare occasion that I am relaxing at home I have been looking at pregnancy tips - this is what I found:
- Regular exercise and a good diet will help conception, though too much or too little exercise can mean its harder to concieve. An ideal is 1/2-1 hour a day, max of 5 hours intense exercise.
- Foods that are high in potassium have a higher chance of producing a boy, eg meat, fish and bananas.
- Foods that are high in magnesium and calcium have a higher chance of producing a boy, eg unsalted cheese, dairy, smoked meats.
As always I cant wait until you get here!
All my love
Always and forever
Mummy xxx
Thursday, 1 September 2011
Happy Birthday to me!
Dearest Bubba
I have finally got my laptop fixed - all I had to do was flick a switch to allow the wireless to work lol.
Anyway it was my birthday today - and I didn't think that I would enjoy turning 23 but I really did!
I stayed up until midnight and Billy gave me a handmade card which was lovely. Then I had a nice egg and bacon sandwhich made for me to eat in bed.
When I got up Aunty Kerry gave me my present from her which was tickets for me and Nana to go and see 'Dreamboats and Petticoats in London, which will be brilliant!
Daddy then took me shopping, where I got lots of stuff bought for me, including books, dvds, cds ad perfumes. I also got a new outfit!
We then went home and played games, Nanny Carol came round and gave me some perfume. Then I went to Nana and Grumps' house. I got two bottles of wine from Blly, socks, sweeties, a photo frame, teddy bear, tigger bowl and cookie cutters from Aunty Kip. Then Nana and Grumps got me a tigger pen and a locket. The locket is really pretty and although Nana thinksit is too small I am going to try and put a picture in it!
So all in all a really good day and a good weekend to come. I am going to the Zoo on Saturday, as well as going to Frankie and Benny's for a meal with all the family!
I promise to take lot of photos over the next few monthsto jeep you updates so juat hang on for me ok?
As always I cant wait for you to get here!
All my love,
Always and forever,
Mummy xxx
I have finally got my laptop fixed - all I had to do was flick a switch to allow the wireless to work lol.
Anyway it was my birthday today - and I didn't think that I would enjoy turning 23 but I really did!
I stayed up until midnight and Billy gave me a handmade card which was lovely. Then I had a nice egg and bacon sandwhich made for me to eat in bed.
When I got up Aunty Kerry gave me my present from her which was tickets for me and Nana to go and see 'Dreamboats and Petticoats in London, which will be brilliant!
Daddy then took me shopping, where I got lots of stuff bought for me, including books, dvds, cds ad perfumes. I also got a new outfit!
We then went home and played games, Nanny Carol came round and gave me some perfume. Then I went to Nana and Grumps' house. I got two bottles of wine from Blly, socks, sweeties, a photo frame, teddy bear, tigger bowl and cookie cutters from Aunty Kip. Then Nana and Grumps got me a tigger pen and a locket. The locket is really pretty and although Nana thinksit is too small I am going to try and put a picture in it!
So all in all a really good day and a good weekend to come. I am going to the Zoo on Saturday, as well as going to Frankie and Benny's for a meal with all the family!
I promise to take lot of photos over the next few monthsto jeep you updates so juat hang on for me ok?
As always I cant wait for you to get here!
All my love,
Always and forever,
Mummy xxx
All my presents from today - not including my tickets
Close up of Nana and Grumps' locket and bits and bobs from Aunty Kip
Dvds, cds, books and clothes from daddy. (more bits and bobs from aunty Kip)
My sexy boots for my new outfit!
Sunday, 21 August 2011
Quite a while!
Dearest Bubba,
I apologise for the long wait for another letter, but it is not any reflection on how badly I want you.
As you can probably guess its been work work work! so that is my excuse!
I have been to the cinema quite a bit too, and it takes ages for Daddy's computer to load (he still hasn't fixed my laptop!) so finding half an hour to catch up has been hard, I have been writing in your diary thoug
I guess another reason is that I have done two pregnancy tests so far and i'm still not pregnant! Daddy was alot more optimistic than me, I guess he realises how much you mean to me! You are going to change my life and im so excited about it!
I have been looking at all the baby gear in catalogues and on the internet and I am already thinking about how I can decorate the spare room. I need to get a decent camera too, make sure that I will have lots of pictures to take when you FINALLY get here!
Daddy did surprise me though by buying a book on baby names! Its a hilarious idea, as anyone that knows us, can tell you that we rarely agree on things like that! Sascha, our puppy was only named so because of a comprimise. I wanted to call her dobbalina and daddy wanted to call her Kimi. However we are currently in agreement of two names that we like: Anastasiya or Anya for a girl (only spelt those ways) and Logan for a boy.
So as you can see we are ready for you whenever you feel like turning up! I can't wait to see the line in the box that tells me I am about to have my own little family.
As always I can 't wait for you to get here!
All my love,
Always and forever,
Mummy xxx
I apologise for the long wait for another letter, but it is not any reflection on how badly I want you.
As you can probably guess its been work work work! so that is my excuse!
I have been to the cinema quite a bit too, and it takes ages for Daddy's computer to load (he still hasn't fixed my laptop!) so finding half an hour to catch up has been hard, I have been writing in your diary thoug
I guess another reason is that I have done two pregnancy tests so far and i'm still not pregnant! Daddy was alot more optimistic than me, I guess he realises how much you mean to me! You are going to change my life and im so excited about it!
I have been looking at all the baby gear in catalogues and on the internet and I am already thinking about how I can decorate the spare room. I need to get a decent camera too, make sure that I will have lots of pictures to take when you FINALLY get here!
Daddy did surprise me though by buying a book on baby names! Its a hilarious idea, as anyone that knows us, can tell you that we rarely agree on things like that! Sascha, our puppy was only named so because of a comprimise. I wanted to call her dobbalina and daddy wanted to call her Kimi. However we are currently in agreement of two names that we like: Anastasiya or Anya for a girl (only spelt those ways) and Logan for a boy.
So as you can see we are ready for you whenever you feel like turning up! I can't wait to see the line in the box that tells me I am about to have my own little family.
As always I can 't wait for you to get here!
All my love,
Always and forever,
Mummy xxx
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Wedding?
Dearest Bubba,
Unfortunately the wedding was not for me and daddy! It was a friend of mine. She had a lovely, beautiful dress! The ceremony was wonderful and the reception was just spectacular! It did get me thinking about marriage but then I thought again about your daddy dancing away, like a frog in a blender and thought better of it! Daddy has promised that we will get you christened and throw you a nice party afterwards!
It was also aunty Cloe's birthday which was alot of fun for the weekend.
I also saw Captain America when I got back from house sitting. It was fantastic - mummy has a thing for Chris Evans anyway which made the film superb - but the film itself was also really good and I cant wait to go and see the avengers next May! You may end up coming to see it with me!
And then I had to go back to work! All my fun ended as quickly as it had begun!
As always I really can't wait for you to get here!
All my love,
Always and Forever!
Mummy xxx
Unfortunately the wedding was not for me and daddy! It was a friend of mine. She had a lovely, beautiful dress! The ceremony was wonderful and the reception was just spectacular! It did get me thinking about marriage but then I thought again about your daddy dancing away, like a frog in a blender and thought better of it! Daddy has promised that we will get you christened and throw you a nice party afterwards!
It was also aunty Cloe's birthday which was alot of fun for the weekend.
I also saw Captain America when I got back from house sitting. It was fantastic - mummy has a thing for Chris Evans anyway which made the film superb - but the film itself was also really good and I cant wait to go and see the avengers next May! You may end up coming to see it with me!
And then I had to go back to work! All my fun ended as quickly as it had begun!
As always I really can't wait for you to get here!
All my love,
Always and Forever!
Mummy xxx
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Work! Work! Work!
So the reason that I havent written recently will of course be due to work! The reason that keeps me constantly busy, busy, busy! I went to London for meetings which were kind of interesting but not brilliant! I did get to go and see 'We will rock you!'' which was lot of fun and I got to meet people that I hadn't met before. It was different and better than going into work but I would have rather of stayed at home and had a nice time to relax!
I also did a pregnancy test and i'm gutted that you are still not here yet! I really, really wanted you to be here so that I can start planning for your arrival! I know that you will come in time and maybe thats my punishment because I have kept you waiting for so long but I hope its not too much longer.
Anyway I have a wedding to go to tommorow so I wont get a chance to write!
Love you so much already!
All my love
Always and Forever
Mummy xxx
I also did a pregnancy test and i'm gutted that you are still not here yet! I really, really wanted you to be here so that I can start planning for your arrival! I know that you will come in time and maybe thats my punishment because I have kept you waiting for so long but I hope its not too much longer.
Anyway I have a wedding to go to tommorow so I wont get a chance to write!
Love you so much already!
All my love
Always and Forever
Mummy xxx
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
Nanny
Dearest Bubba,
Today I went to visit my nan! It made me want to have you even more! I remember when I was a little girl and I asked my nan a question; "Will you still be alive when I have children?" My nan answered " I can't promise but I certainly hope so." and when I asked my grandad he said "I don't see why not". My Grandad died a few years ago from cancer. I really loved him - he was so funny and clever, I could sit with him all day listening to his stories and talking to him. He was a lovely man and it really saddens me to think that you will never get to meet him. Thats why I really want you to meet my Nan because she is the kidest person I know, and she is so lovely. Everytime I see her though I get a pang in my chest because this woman that I thought was invincible when I was little is getting older and older each day and I can't lie to myself anymore that she is going to be around forever. Me and Daddy love her so much that we want you to grow up and know her before she has to leave any of us, like grandad.
I really can't wait for you to get here!
All my love,
Always and forever.
Mummy xxx
Today I went to visit my nan! It made me want to have you even more! I remember when I was a little girl and I asked my nan a question; "Will you still be alive when I have children?" My nan answered " I can't promise but I certainly hope so." and when I asked my grandad he said "I don't see why not". My Grandad died a few years ago from cancer. I really loved him - he was so funny and clever, I could sit with him all day listening to his stories and talking to him. He was a lovely man and it really saddens me to think that you will never get to meet him. Thats why I really want you to meet my Nan because she is the kidest person I know, and she is so lovely. Everytime I see her though I get a pang in my chest because this woman that I thought was invincible when I was little is getting older and older each day and I can't lie to myself anymore that she is going to be around forever. Me and Daddy love her so much that we want you to grow up and know her before she has to leave any of us, like grandad.
I really can't wait for you to get here!
All my love,
Always and forever.
Mummy xxx
Box of treasures.
This is the box that I got yesterday. Its got the notebook that I am using for your diary! then the little square box if for any random thoughts or ideas that I might have. I will use the box to store loads of things for you so that when you are a stroppy teenager you can see how much we love you!
Lots of Love
Always and Forever
Mummy xxx
Monday, 25 July 2011
Day 1; My New Journey
Dear Bubba,
Yesterday is the day that me and daddy decided that we wanted to start trying for a baby.
I had just finished reading a book called 'Where Rainbows End' by Cecelia Ahern. It was about these letters that were sent between friends spanning more than 40 years. The story is about friendship and missed opportunities!
It made me think how lucky I am that daddy is my best friend and that I love him so much. I'm lucky I met him when we were 16. In the past 6 years we have been through alot to get to where we are now and I know that there will be more but i'm not scared!
Lately I have been working so hard and I have just got a promotion. All this is really good and I love the company that I work for but I dont want to work in retail anymore. I work so hard but all I do is come home and stress at daddy which isn't fair on anyone! I have worked there for 5 years now so it will be a shame to take such a leap backwards but I really thing you will be worth it ten times over.
I really want to be an actress or a science teacher if all else fails, but how on earth can I achieve that when I work 60 hours a week!
Then the book got me thinking about you! Our not yet concieved baby - but one that we both want so badly! The only reason we haven't had you yet is because we are both so busy - I have decided that its not good enough. I want a baby now! I want to chose you over my job and I promise that from herein I always will! The book made me realise that I should take the chance when I can. I dont want to miss out on the opportunity to have you.
I want to write this diary for you so that you can see how much you have changed my life!
Part of me is terrified and the other is really excited and happy that we have finally made this decision after 6 years!
Nana has been nagging me for ages to have a baby and your Aunty Clo wants one soon - she already has 2 so I think it is definitely my turn!
I can't promise that I will be a good mummy, that I will never make mistakes, or that we won't argue. I can promise however that I will love you until the day I die.
I can't wait to start this journey for me, you and daddy!
All of my love,
Always and Forever
Mummy xxx
Yesterday is the day that me and daddy decided that we wanted to start trying for a baby.
I had just finished reading a book called 'Where Rainbows End' by Cecelia Ahern. It was about these letters that were sent between friends spanning more than 40 years. The story is about friendship and missed opportunities!
It made me think how lucky I am that daddy is my best friend and that I love him so much. I'm lucky I met him when we were 16. In the past 6 years we have been through alot to get to where we are now and I know that there will be more but i'm not scared!
Lately I have been working so hard and I have just got a promotion. All this is really good and I love the company that I work for but I dont want to work in retail anymore. I work so hard but all I do is come home and stress at daddy which isn't fair on anyone! I have worked there for 5 years now so it will be a shame to take such a leap backwards but I really thing you will be worth it ten times over.
I really want to be an actress or a science teacher if all else fails, but how on earth can I achieve that when I work 60 hours a week!
Then the book got me thinking about you! Our not yet concieved baby - but one that we both want so badly! The only reason we haven't had you yet is because we are both so busy - I have decided that its not good enough. I want a baby now! I want to chose you over my job and I promise that from herein I always will! The book made me realise that I should take the chance when I can. I dont want to miss out on the opportunity to have you.
I want to write this diary for you so that you can see how much you have changed my life!
Part of me is terrified and the other is really excited and happy that we have finally made this decision after 6 years!
Nana has been nagging me for ages to have a baby and your Aunty Clo wants one soon - she already has 2 so I think it is definitely my turn!
I can't promise that I will be a good mummy, that I will never make mistakes, or that we won't argue. I can promise however that I will love you until the day I die.
I can't wait to start this journey for me, you and daddy!
All of my love,
Always and Forever
Mummy xxx
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