Looking Ahead

Dearest Bubba,

It has been a long time... but no news is good news as my journey begins to start.

Finally after what seems like an endless battle we have finally had some help in tyring to conceive a baby! Its brilliant news, better news would be a pregnancy of course butat least we can start this path again. I can start getting excited, and I can start to be hopeful.

The moment the doctor told me that it was fine and he was going to get me my baby I had tears in my eyes, I looked across at your daddy and he was speechless. We went in preparing for battle, like we had to do so many times before.

We walked into the room and sat nervously in our chairs waiting for the overwhelming disappointment to hit us again. Instead the doctor grinned from ear to ear, "so you want a baby?" he asked rhetorically. "Well lets get on with it, heres what we are going to do..." there were no issues with my weight this time, there was no 'umming' and 'erring', just to the point.
I think I was still dumbstruck by the absolute pleasantness of the doctor as your daddy led me back to the car, I cried a little at the thought that its not going to be much longer!

So now we have a strict schedule of pills and activity and blood tests in order to get you here! But I wouldn't change it for the world! Me and daddy have reviewed the names that we were thinking of and have decided that we want as much to be a surprise to everyone as possible so nothing on here until we know what sex you will be!

We have also had to look into the possibility of multiple births, as it runs in both our families and with the tablets I am on there is an increased risk. It would be just my luck to wait for so long for one baby and then have two or more come along.

I feel so elated at the moment about it all, and it just seems like there are babies everywhere. Maybe I was wallowing in my own self-pity to realise it before, but every where I turn there are bumps and push chairs, films about babies, and adverts and tv programmes. Maybe before we made this decision I just ignored everything baby like, but now I get a knot in my stomach.

Also this week me and daddy celebrated being together for 7 years! its amazing to think that 7 years ago I didnt see him every day and I honestly don't know what I would do without him. He is my right arm and a part of my soul. When he isnt with me there is always a part of me that feels empty, especially when I am on my own. He is the best man in the world and he is going to be the best daddy.

Before we had the appointment at the hospital I had my doubts about wether he really wanted this as badly as I do. But in the car on the way I looked and saw his jaws tensing, and he kept fidgeting. I knew then that even though he doesnt talk about it, he wants this more than anything else. I saw that he is as scared as I am that we will be left disappointed again, and he is scared just like me that we will make mistakes!

We will make mistakes, and I can gurantee that we will not always agree on everything. But I can also gurantee that no matter what we will always cherish and adore you!

All my love
         Always and Forever
                              Mummy XxX

Medical!

So lately I have been to and fro with doctors appointments and counselling so I have been really busy so lets go into some detail.

Firstly there is my counselling which i have to go to every week for six weeks. When im there I get half an hour, where I fill in a questionnaire and get told what level of anxiety or depression I have. Then I get asked random questions where I have to analyse myself. Once this is done and I find something else needs fixing I then get to read a leaflet on how to improve.

Then there is the gym, its going well and I have lost four kilos so far. I have also lost 2cm and can squeeze into a 14!

I then have appointments with a dietician who has asked the doctors to prescribe me metformin which I have just started taking.

So very busy with that and work and being social as usual, but optimistic with the progress so far.
Fingers crossed it will be good enough for the doctor in May.

All my love,

              Always and forever,
                                     Mummy X x X

Progress!

Just weighed in and I have lost half a stone in two weeks! Really impressed!

What a b.e.a.u-tiful day!

Dearest Bubba,

Waking up this morning was amazing! The sun was shining and if it wasn't for an ache in my legs from the gym I would have skipped merrily down the road.

Instead I woke up realising the house is a state and I forgot to put the recycling out again! Just a few more things to add to my list of ' sort my lazy butt out before i become a mummy!'

The gym is going well and my eating habits are slowly getting better! I need to start planning my time better and I have decided to cut some gym time so I can ensure i focus on my meal plans.

My next appointment is the 17th of may so I have until then to get my hopefully nice firm butt into gear!

All my love,
           always and forever,
                                Mummy x x

How Strange?

Dearest Bubba,

I have just viewed the blog through the computer for the first time in a while as I normally use the blogger app on my phone - and for some strange reason everything seems to be underlined.

Today I went to see ' the best exotic marigold hotel' at the cinema with Aunty Kip. I have to say that it was a feel good film - but it also made you think about what it is that we are aiming for in life. What is it that we are working so hard to do? Who and what are we trying to prove? Is it better to have a stable income or should we save less and see more.
The film definitely inspired the peace loving, world travelling, couldn't care less about society's needs part of my soul - but as usual the sensible - work, money, dog, friends, family side of me told me not to be so silly!

So what am I going to do about it now? Not much to be honest! I dont even have a passport so I can't go very far, but it has inspired me to work harder and definitely get my degree to become a teacher. This way i will have a rewarding, well paid job and 13 weeks to go on holiday and travel and see different places and maybe, just maybe find some answers to these questions.

At the end of the day - when im old and grey - as long as things are still going my way - ill be ok!

All my love,
         Always and forever,
                                Mummy xxx

Powerhoop!

Dearest Bubba,

Oh dear!

Look at my bruise from power hoop. It was a brilliant class though and I can really feel the work out. This one is on my right hip. Powerhoop isn't like hula hoop you have to go back and forth or side to side. Its not just a ring either it is moulded foam on the inside of the ring like waves. The idea is that it bashes the fat on your waist. It is a brilliant class and so much fun! Write again soon, All my love, always and forever, Mummy x

My poor acheyness!

Dearest Bubba,

Yesterday I went to the gym for the first time in a very long time for a legs, bums and tums session.

I used to go all the time before my knee and feet injuries and it was still really  good and with the same instructor. . .

But am I feeling it today! I was ok this morning but its starting to wear me out now. I have been up since 5 this morning so understandable but way out of shape!

Trying a powerhoop class tonight which I have never done before so will see what that is like and also going to try out the sauna, which i have also never done before!

Wish me luck!

All my love,
           always and forever,
                             Mummy x x x